The IPL Player Auctions were conducted with great fanfare. Outrageous amounts were spent by the entrepreneurs to get their hands on the prized catches. But just like End-Of-Season-Sales at malls, every team has inevitably ended up with some players who may not exactly be ‘value for money’. So here I present a team by team analysis of who might just flatter to deceive in the upcoming IPL.

Mohali Mumbo-Jumbo

Romesh Powar - ‘Raavan’ as he is affectionately called by his team-mates, in my opinion, won’t exactly scare the living daylights out of the opposition. Let’s have a look at his records, shall we? Powar has just one T20 international to his name. Secondly, his bowling average in ODIs is an unimpressive 35.02 with an economy rate of 4.65. Powar is not exactly the most agile fielder out there either, nor is age on his side. In light of these facts, one cannot help but wonder whether the $1,70,000 that Miss Zinta shelled out for him will prove to be a wise investment.

Chennai Champoos

Stephen Fleming - Uncle Player Alert! 35 year old Fleming has not played a single ODI since April 2007, after stepping down as captain following New Zealand’s loss at the 2007 Cricket World Cup. Fleming, though an excellent slip fielder, rarely fields else where. He hasn’t done too much in his 5 T20 international appearances or his 36 domestic t20 appearances (he has a meagre average of 23.31, which is poor for a man of his caliber). Unless he really gets going and unleashes some of his equisite cover drives and thrilling pull shots, I have my doubts about how successful he will be. But then again, fellow Uncle Cricketers from the New Zealand Team of yesteryear, Chris Cairns and Chris Harris, continue to shine in the ICL, so who knows, so might Stephen Fleming.
Money Spent on Fleming: $350,000/-

Parthiv Patel: Parthiv Patel is one lucky guy if you ask me. In 2003, he was part of the Indian team that reached the finals of the World Cup, but he didn’t play a single match there and instead got a nice paid South African holiday! Though he hadn’t played a single international match for India since 2004, the BCCI had him under a contract with a hefty pay until they revised their contract system in 2007. This time around as well, I don’t see Patel getting much action as Captain MS Dhoni is undoubtedly the first choice wicketkeeper. Unless Dhoni has an injury or something of the sort, I guess Patel will take his $325,000 home without breaking a sweat yet again!

Mumbai Mamoos

Loots Bosman - Loots Bosman isn’t a name most fans are familiar with. None the less, it’s still early days in his career. He has so far, represented South Africa 12 times in ODIs with just one fifty to his name and an unimpressive average of 20.40 . His T20 International record is slightly better however with a healthy average of 38.50 and one fifty to his name. But the worrying factor is that Bosman has been languishing on the sidelines since his last international appearance for South Africa in ODIs in August 2007.

Ambani Bhai, who is a master investor, I think, wasn’t exactly sure of who he bought when he daya khaake paid $1,50,000 for Bosman who remained unsold till the very last round of the auctions. Time will tell whether Ambani Bhai has made yet another wise investment otherwise, $1,50,000 Loots gaye .

Ashish Nehra - Yet another faux pas by Ambani Bhai if you ask me. While it’s not clear how much was spent on getting hold of Nehra, I doubt whether it would be wise to spend on Nehra in any given case. Nehra, who was chucked in 2005 from the Indian ODI team is yet to make a comeback to international cricket. The lesser said about his batting and fielding, the better. His bowling form in his short-lived career was also patchy save for flashes in the pan such as his 6-23 against England in the 2003 World Cup. Injuries have always plagued Nehra and one wonders if he will ever be a 100% again and bowl at 147 kph as he did in the 2003 World Cup. Nehra also has no experience whatsoever in T20s. And thus for me he remains one of the biggest question marks in the IPL.

Bangalore Boozards.*hick*

Shivnarine Chanderpaul - Chanderpaul has been an integral part of the West Indian team for a long time now and can be innovative in ODIs as well. But the first thing that came to my mind when I saw his name on the Bangalore team was the snail-like paced batting Messrs. Chanderpaul and Hooper displayed in India’s 2002 tour of the West Indies. Records-wise not much can be questioned about his ODI or Test Records, but his average of just 26.60 in 6 international T20 matches is poor for someone who bats up the order. He also has a similar record in domestic T20s 8 matches with an average of 23.28 . I’m not saying that Vijay Mallya’s $200,000 are going to go down the drain, but one can’t deny that Chanderpaul has to establish himself in this new avatar of cricket where young guns rule the scene.

Wasim Jaffer - Jaffer though is a good test opener, can be really slow when he gets stuck. He is not the greatest of fielders and has just 2 ODI caps to his name for India. He has no experience in international T20, and has made just 1 domestic T20 appearance. Jaffer will have to do a lot to prove that he well and truly deserves the $1,50,000 that he was bought for. Unless he pulls a rabbit out of his hat and produces another gem of an innings like his fabulous 212 as a test opener, my doubts remain solid.

Rahul Dravid - It would be foolish to write Rahul Dravid off, keeping in mind his illustrious international cricket career in mind. But at the same time, one cannot deny that The Wall, as captain of the Royal Challengers, faces one of the biggest challenges of his career. Why exactly he quit the post of captain of the Indian team is yet to be known for sure, but let’s hope that his second affair with captaincy is a more successful one. Dravid who has been dropped from the one day side now has an opportunity to prove critics wrong once again. Though he has never played an international T20 match and has only played 2 domestic T20 matches, unfamiliarity with the format should be the least of his worries. Whether he will be able to put his demons behind him and lead the Royal Challengers to victory over the victorious T20 captain, MS Dhoni’s SuperKings as well as the 6 other teams is my biggest doubt.

Sunil Joshi if I remember correctly is a left arm spinner who can bat a bit. Only problem is that he is a 37 year old uncle cricketer who is as well-remembered as other great yesteryear players such as Dodda Ganesh, David Johnson and Vikram Rathore. In other words, He’s Ancient and long forgotten. I think Vijay Mallya bought him after one too many ‘royal challenges’

To be continued…